I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
zippers are such a cool invention
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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