I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When are your genitals available?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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