im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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