thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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