He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
