The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
