Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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