weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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