I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
