i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
