I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
3 2 1 whiskey
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
