Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
