I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
