So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
