hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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