i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
my poor anus
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
