Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
