Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
