my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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