Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
