It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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