Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
