thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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