dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
