Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
