I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
