Betty ford says i'm here all night
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
