Betty ford says i'm here all night
i already hear my dad disowning me
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
