Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I don't deserve a penis
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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