I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
