ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
