this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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