I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
