she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
