i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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