i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
