Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
