yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
