If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
