Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize