if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
