why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
