If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
