You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
