It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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