Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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