Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
