Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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