i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I can't turn off my feet"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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