So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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